silverback gorilla (jcruelty) wrote,
silverback gorilla

livebloggin pt 6: clothesline, water table, disparagement of chinese workmanship

Finally put up this clothesline that I'd been meaning to do for weeks.

you can barely see it, but it's there... start from the round circular thing upper left

It reminded me what an incompetent handy-man I am. So many basic questions:

1) why use woodscrews vs nails?
2) what makes a woodscrew different from a regular screw
3) how do I use my stupid drill?

It's a piece of crap Chinese knockoff (no doubt) of some other drill. I snapped off one drill bit trying to drill a guide hole for the woodscrew going into the wood on my patio. Drill bits aren't supposed to snap that easily are they?

look at the size of this thing! it weighs a ton and has the strength of a young girl

wtf do all these things even do? i have never used the big pointy oar looking things on the right. are they for torture? stirring soup?

Maybe I was using the wrong thing, I dunno. Anyway eventually got the thing attached but the wire tension isn't great. Why we even got a clothesline widget, when alls we needed was two nails and a wire? (though again, how do you maintain tension when a ton of clothes are hanging off it?)

Then poured water in the water table and the girls fought over a toy boat

video is the cheap way out of having to describe something. if nabokov had an iphone would he have bothered describing the motion of flies? man that guy could describe. "a little party of midges were continuously darning the air in one spot" is how he put it, and you can totally see it. i would've said "a bunch of flies were... flying in the air (SEE VIDEO)"

NEXT ON THE SCHEDULE (pronounced in that annoying jokey way "shed-u-ul"):
1. shower [or even bath; or even revolutionary bath!!]
2. music [or not; i hate dealing with music these days so much that i'd rather go without]
3. pix [yeah probably that]

This grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender sez 'hey I have a drink named after you!' Grasshopper sez "you have a drink named Steve?'

Ok you heard that, well how about this old saw:

These two Sikhs move to America. They make a bet on who can assimilate faster. "One year from now we'll meet back here, and whoever's the most American wins."

A year later, they meet up. First guy struts in confidently. "Yup, just drove here in my SUV... dropped off little Sanjay at LITTLE LEAGUE... later on gonna get a BIG MAC..."

Second guy goes "Fuck you towelhead!"

next - pt. 7

  • Living in limbo

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