silverback gorilla (jcruelty) wrote,
silverback gorilla
jcruelty

Revolutionary bathing

I've been taking a lot of baths
I have to seal the drain switch with duct tape, as it currently leaks
Eventually should caulk it I suppose. (What is caulk?)

I was making the temperature too hot
I scrubbed the tub with Ajax
I wish it were a claw foot

I need some bath salts or something

While googling for "the perfect bath" I realized how bourgeois and boring the whole concept is
Candle light, scented bath salts, classical music, blah blah blah blah blah.

I've been trying to devise a more bohemian, "counter-cultural" recipe. Using the same conceptual framework as Women Today Magazine:

RECIPE FOR AN AVANT-GARDE BATH:
  • SIGHT: none, one instead bathes in total darkness

  • SMELL: Get a jug of gasoline and place it near-by.

  • SOUND: Merzbow, or else "free jazz"

  • TASTE: Absinthe

  • TOUCH: what the fuck does this even mean, I have to go back and consult Women Today. Ah yes... "Just being in warm water fills this requirement." Although this bath we are constructing is at the very forefront of the avant-garde, I think we have to still use warm water. I guess use cold water if you can.
Hey this bath actually sounds pretty awesome, I'm going to take it sometime soon
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