silverback gorilla (jcruelty) wrote,
silverback gorilla
jcruelty

Party tricks ranked by coolness, utility, risk and potential for seduction

Green = good, yellow = fair, red = poor.
Percentages have a margin of error of +/- 100%.


TRICKCOOLNESSUTILITYRISK OF PHYSICAL INJURYPROBABILITY THAT IT WILL GET YOU LAID
Fart lighting1130%
Opening beer bottle with a lighter3313%
Super-spelling (like at the level of a National Spelling Bee finalist)381negative infinity% (NAN)
Ethnic jokery3 (7 if joke is hilarious)
11 (9 if ethnic group is present)1%
Freestyle rapping41120%
Tying cherry stem into a knot using tongue45250%
Opening beer bottle with another beer bottle5855%
Juggling511 (9 if juggled objects are sharp or on fire)2%
Dog whispering575 (10 if dog is large and angry)40%
Double-jointed-ness6??? TODO: investigate benefits of double-jointed-ness555%
Bird calls (see Figure A below)71 (10 for ornithologists)1 (9 if imitating mating call of a large, taloned bird)10%
Walking on hands71420%
Opening beer bottle with your teeth81 (10 if trapped on a deserted island with a chest full of cold beer and no tools or rocks in sight)77%
Popping, locking83440%
Headspin93737%
Ability to kill a man by striking pressure points in the thorax and abdomen1091055%
Fig A: Cullen doing a screech owl. (All those party trick ratings were just an elaborate excuse to post this video. Yes, my wasted days are legion.)
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 8 comments