silverback gorilla (jcruelty) wrote,
silverback gorilla

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"Sadly, the circus will be here all week."

Via my brother: apparently all the students at UVA Law are pissed off right now, because it's finals week and all of a sudden a CIRCUS showed up and took over the main law school parking lot! So none of them can park and there's elephants everywhere and stress levels are rising. I find the whole thing very comical. Here's the email sent out by the assistant dean:


There is not much I can say to you other than that I agree that the circus village established in the lower Blue Lot would be horrible under any circumstances and is absolutely dreadful, coming at this point in the semester. We knew nothing about it until the first student complaint this morning, and when we called P&T they were surprised as well. Apparently the people were sent down there by the JPJ Arena, and at least at this point it appears that there is nothing we can do about it. Believe me, there's nothing you can express to me about it that I haven't felt myself, and we will continue to try to make our voice heard. But from what I understand at this point, they have the right to do that. Note that at 3:30 pm the D3 Lot becomes a Blue Lot. Before that, despite what the nice policewoman told you, Blue Lot permit holders who park in D3 will be a risk of ticketing and towing. I am told that U Hall is your parking alternative. I know that isn't a good alternative. Sadly, the circus will be here all week.

Martha D. Ballenger
Assistant Dean for Student Affairs
University of Virginia School of Law

My brother anticipates getting this email next week:


I was as shocked as you were to discover the pack of wild dogs roaming the halls of the Law School. I understand that it's never convenient to have to dodge frothing beasts on your way to classes, meetings, and study sessions, and that dealing with such an affliction during finals may cause you additional stress. Let me stress that I deeply regret that you must risk contracting rabies to use the facilities for which you paid tuition.

Dean Jeffries attempted to negotiate with the savages, offering to feed the carnies squatting in the Blue Lot to the dogs if they'd leave the premises. Unfortunately, the leader of the pack rejected the deal. I am afraid that there is nothing else that we can do about the scourge.

I encourage you not to make eye contact with any of the dogs, especially the mottled yellow one with the torn ear. I cannot stress strongly enough that you should not attempt to bring meals into the school as you dash toward the library, which (as of this morning) remains dog-free. I understand that this will curtail your ability to study for long periods at a time, but please remain respectful of everyone in the Law School community, including its temporary members with claws and teeth.

I sympathize deeply with your plight: I was bitten twice this morning before I could hole up in a conference room. Apparently, the dogs have the right to do that. Please remember, however, that if you shoot any of the dogs or try to solve the problem yourself, we will be forced to arrest you for violating animal cruelty laws. Sadly, the roving band of feral dogs will be here all week.

On the bright side, I understand that there are several writing contests in the works examining this problem.


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