silverback gorilla (jcruelty) wrote,
silverback gorilla

You can't keep a tall Jew down!

A few weeks ago, I was sitting outside Tartine drinking coffee, when I saw a freakishly tall young man walking towards me. He was wearing a sandwich board that said "RAP-O-GRAMS - 6'7" TALL JEW WILL RAP FOR YOU." Naturally I stopped him and asked how much a rap-o-gram cost. He said "it varies," which I think was code for "whatever I can cadge from you." I asked what he could do for $5 and he said he'd freestyle on a topic of my choice. The topic I chose was: coffee. (It was too early in the morning to be creative.)

How was his freestyling? Let's just say that this particular freestyle did not threaten to end Biggie Smalls's reign as greatest of all time. It sounded like something you'd hear at an open mic poetry night. But I didn't care, because the mere existence of this guy was worth $5.

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