July 8th, 2010


A bit of the ol footy

Googled "soccer field san bruno," found one at a middle school, just a few blocks from the office. Spent the last 1.5 hrs kicking around. It was sheer bliss. The weather was sunny with a cool breeze, not too hot not too cold. The field was empty except for a few kids practicing softball (not in the way). They had a full goal set up. Much bigger than it looks on TV.

I really struggle with fundamentals. Need to get some coaching. I vaguely recall you're supposed to kick with the side of yr foot but I can't make the ball get any air unless I involve the front of my foot as well. I can't kick for shit with my left foot-- it feels like operating an instrument not attached to my body.

The field was open enough to let me drop kick to my heart's content. Sometimes I'd get a good one off but more often it would go flat. At one point I'd been messing up the kicks, and in my head I thought:

Don't think. Just do. Clear your head. Don't think.

I let the ball drop, swung with my leg and COMPLETELY whiffed it. The force of the missed kick jerked my knee in a weird direction, causing spasms of pain.

Don't not think THAT much. Think a little.

I spent some time trying out (and mostly failing at) various maneuvers such as heading the ball into goal, pivoting while dribbling, penalty kicks. It was basically soccer practice. Kind of funny given that I previously stated soccer practice is a fate worse than death. I guess it all depends on whether you're choosing to do it or being forced to.

Is the relationship between solitary kicking around and playing an actual game like masturbation to sex? Yeah but imagine you hadn't had sex since the 5th grade and back then you were so bad at it that everybody laughed at you. Makes masturbation sound pretty good by comparison, doesn't it?

Nevertheless one of these days soonish I'm gonna will up the nerve to at least sub in at a pickup game. Mike & Lizzie & those guys seem to be playing all the time.

Some of the world cup goals have come from super long range. In Argentina vs Mexico Tevez scored from 25 yards out.

I wanted to see from how far away could I reasonably kick the ball into the goal. I don't have any sense of distance but I measured by paces. My range is about 30 paces. Assuming each pace is a foot (?) that means my range is 10 yards. Kicking something in from 2.5 times that distance is impressive! Of course compared to my stats most things are impressive.

What part of your head are you supposed to head with?

Go Netherlands