April 6th, 2008


The least macho story ever told

At our housewarming party last night, I went out to the back porch to have a cigarette. Jason was out there and he was done smoking, so I slid out of the way to let him open the door. As he went in, he pulled the door shut behind him. At this point I began to scream. My right ring finger was being crushed in the door jamb. Jason thought it was stuck, so he pulled even harder, increasing the vise-like pressure. It took several agonizing seconds before he realized what was happening and let go.

It had been a long time since I'd experienced such pain. My finger felt like it was going to explode. I staggered through the crowd in the kitchen and got some ice from the freezer. I couldn't find any paper towels, so I grabbed boxers from our bedroom and used them to hold the ice around my finger. It was throbbing like mad. I started to feel a little light-headed. It was a weird feeling, almost like drug-sickness. But I wasn't on drugs. Had I been drinking too much? I'd only had a couple of cocktails. Unsure what was happening, I laid down on my bed.

Eventually I decided I was recovered enough to go back out, so I got up and went to the hallway. Megan & her friends were there, so we started chatting. Just then I started feeling weird again. Next thing I know, I'm on my back on the floor, with people standing over me looking concerned. It was completely disorienting. They helped me back to the bed and told me I'd passed out for a second. It had never happened to me before, and I felt really uncomfortable and disturbed. What was going on?

The most likely theory, according to everyone I talked to, is that I fainted from pain. People said it's not uncommon for this to happen. I would prefer a less wussy explanation myself.