April 23rd, 2006

hat

Hot tubs, nipples, ordering of intoxicants


Year of the monkey - Sven Atema

Poll #715439 Test your knowledge of Sven & Nicole's dinner party

The professions of those in attendance are listed below. Which of the following was not an actual dinner guest's job?

Aspiring actress
1(16.7%)
Producer, toy company
0(0.0%)
Programmer, video game company
0(0.0%)
Painter
0(0.0%)
Underground political rapper
1(16.7%)
Sound engineer
0(0.0%)
Business manager, Oakland Opera Theatre
0(0.0%)
Jewelry maker
1(16.7%)
Waiter, pricey vegetarian restaurant
1(16.7%)
Hare Krishna beekeeper
2(33.3%)

You are introduced to one of the guests, a tall, slender young lady from Kenya. She looks like a model. Do you

Experience a familiar 1-2 sequence of monogamous guilt followed by mental-shoulder shrugging and admission of the inevitable allure of the female form, primal & inescapable
1(16.7%)
Notice that her nipples are poking through the sheer fabric of her blouse
1(16.7%)
At all costs avoid staring at her breasts
2(33.3%)
Stare at her breasts
2(33.3%)

Two of Sven's latest paintings are on the piano. The one on the right depicts a somewhat polyhedral, egg shaped mass fringed with delicate tendrils. An ape's head pokes out from behind the upper left edge. Sven puts a lot of apes in his paintings, for reasons he can only guess at. The painting is soft blue and lovely. It's about 3 feet wide and 2 feet long. Suppose you offer to buy this painting. How much would you pay?

As the night progresses, in what order do you consume wine, champagne, etc? When answering, take into account the following: a) your status as driver b) The existence of a hot tub in Nicole & Sven's backyard c) the smell of fresh mint

1. pinot noir with dinner 2. post-prandial mojito and spliff 3. champagne (in hot tub) 4. water to begin sobering up
1(20.0%)
1. champagne & spliff while cooking 2. mojito with dinner 3. wine in the hot tub because wine glasses have greater bouyancy and will easily float 4. one last spliff because stoned drivers are paranoid and safe
3(60.0%)
1. water alone, for it is the nourishing giver of life that forms and sustains us
1(20.0%)

You arrive back home, tired but satisfied. Do you (select all that apply) :

sweep the patio
0(0.0%)
stay up till 7AM drinking lambic cheery ale and reading the Voyages issue of New Yorker
0(0.0%)
contemplate adding the films of Werner Herzog to your netflix queue
0(0.0%)
stay up till 8AM creating a self-indulgent livejournal poll
1(16.7%)
floss
2(33.3%)



Secret of the homunculus - Sven Atema