October 25th, 2005


I disparage the Consulate General of India

I finally got around to looking up what I need to do to get my visa for India. You have to give them two passport photos and fill out this five page form asking purpose of your visit? destinations you're planning to visit? length of stay? are you a terrorist? do you swear you're not a terrorist? blood type? next of kin? home phone number? what did you say the purpose of your visit was again? etc etc.

They accept visa applications Mon-Fri 9 AM to noon. No problem, I'll just drop it off before driving to work... but then it says you can only PICK UP your visa between 4 and 4:45 PM!! Somehow I get the feeling that at the Indian Embassy the customer is not always right. The customer, in fact, can eat a bowl of dicks.

So it's looking like I'll have to take some time out of work to get this done with. I think I need to get shots anyway so it's probably for the best. I got them back in 2000 but my mom claims I need new shots. Also Az. and I will have to go on those malaria-resistance pills that give you really intense dreams. I had possibly the craziest nightmare of my life when we were flying to Delhi five years ago. I had fallen asleep on the plane, and next thing I know I'm in my old backyard in Las Vegas. We're all having a BBQ, but suddenly I realize something's not right. I look up at the sky and in the distance see black spots-- then we realize that the Soviet Union has launched a wave of nuclear missiles and we're experiencing our last moments alive before the missiles land. We're counting down the seconds till annihilation (long, horrific seconds), and just as the missiles land I wake up in a cold sweat. I'm in the plane... but then I realize that what's *actually* happening is that the plane is ABOUT TO CRASH, and what I thought was the countdown to nuclear annihilation in my dream is actually the countdown to the plane crashing in real life! Just as we crashed into the ocean, I woke up for real.