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silverback gorilla

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doom (2 days and ticking) [11 Jun 2002|07:43pm]

Day 2. I am doomed. I have the dull, aching feeling of doom in my chest. It's hard to explain.

I have noticed that journals are more interesting if they have some kind of narrative thread or recurring theme. So here is my new narrative thread: how many days till I get fired or quit? I could actually see it happening, believe it or not. I don't want to let anyone down, but there are limits to how fast I can learn and how close to the machine I can get.

I will try my hardest to overcome these doubts.

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First day of new job [11 Jun 2002|09:13pm]

Today was my first day of work. It was ok. I was really tired the whole day because I didn't get much sleep on Saturday (Shawn's birthday party carried on until the wee hours) or Sunday (poetry regionals at Justice League). I drank a Coke and a coffee in the afternoon, which depressed me a little because it's so easy to fall back into the software engineering routine. No doubt I will soon have a M a x i s coffee mug and some "x-tra large" white t-shirts.

My role is shaping up to be technically challenging, which puts a pit in my stomach. I don't know if I can do what they expect. Things I will have to learn soon: socket programming, how to embed an http server in an application, oracle database programming, php, and how to not scream like a little girl when asked questions like "So. How's your math?" (Really.)

The hours are going to suck. But, it's not all bad. How can you hate a job where your homework is to install and play Sim City 3000?

note: i was still too lazy to do it.

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