My biceps are aching from day-before-yesterday. I can't extend my arms all the way out because it hurts too much. When I say I'm in pain people respond, "oh but it's a good kind of pain, right?" Which makes me think they are not entirely clear on the concept of PAIN.
Sapient made fuckedcompany. Again. Rumors of imminent layoffs are spreading like brushfire. A lot of people are nervous, including me. But really, what's the worst that could happen? I get fired from a job that I constantly complain about? There are a million gigs worse than this, and I'm not ungrateful for the luxuries of consulting, but I haven't made a secret of the fact that I'm bored here. Maybe getting laid off would be the kick in the pants I need. I know it's not healthy to take such a passive attitude ("if I get fired, that sucks but at least I don't have to work this job anymore. if I don't get fired, that's cool, I can stick with this for a while") but life has been so nice outside of work-- I don't feel like jumping ship and throwing everything into chaos. Let fortune resolve itself.
short weekend update because lately it's a pleasant routine and no need to beat out every detail, just notes for memory:
frinot much to do at work, wrote an othello player (min-max) for andy's othello board. nice to code in java, i'd forgotten how satisfying it is to write in that language. dinner @ japanese bistro w/ a. in berkeley, finally saw moulin rouge. visually impressive but i fell asleep during the long slow parts where camera's close up on nicole kidman's face and she's crooning some interminable sappy love ballad. props to anyone who makes a movie that isn't like every other movie, but not something i'd see again. sleepy, to bed
satout to gym, aforementioned bicep-abuse. pumping the iron!! making the grunting noises! nice day, over to farmer's market for plumcots and white peaches and seitan (beet based meat substitute) and delicious tortillas. hippies everywhere. a. bought a sweet bike & i experienced severe bike envy. i almost bought one myself but apparently i have freakishly long legs & they didn't have a model in my size. WACKNESS x 1,000,000.
chilled for a bit, pizza/beer w/ anne-marie & matt, then Hellbillies show at gilman. i hadn't been to a punk show since i was in high school. gilman is an all ages joint, meaning no drugs no alcohol no nothing. it was funny to see all the 17 year olds with patched leather jackets and studs and mohawks. the hellbillies singer reassured the audience: "don't worry, we'll be done by midnight" so curfews were met. we were going to get a watermelon and pour vodka into it and consume in parking lot, but this did not happen. memo to self-- you are not really a huge fan of punk music. rush to bart, back to mine. zzz
sunon the list of Weirdest Situations I've Been In, going to the PRIDE parade with both your girlfriend and your girlfriend's ex-girlfriend is definitely right up there. except it actually wasn't that weird, it was no big deal at all except i had to remind myself to be mature & not all jealous & insecure. if i can hang out with my ex (went to mouse on mars w/ laura, strictly platonic) then there's no reason a. can't do the same right? right. anyway pride was ok, massive (100,000 people??) but curiously low-energy. lots of milling about. hung out there for a while, then a. went back to berkeley to do work & i rushed back to clement for brunch w/ shawn, jenny, angi. brunch = 2 mimosas & lots of free bread.
scrabble @ toyboat, i am dealt crushing defeat due to angi's machinations. then we went to PA because sandeep's african drumming class was having a recital. lots of white people with dreadlocks & costumes. the drumming was good & so was the food, although we got scolded by one of the belly dancer ladies for eating before the drumming was done. contemplated smashing my beer bottle over her head, but lost nerve.
back to berkeley late at night, another trip to gym for torture of back & "abs". blissful zzz, except i didn't sleep too well cos my biceps hurt and i was hot and there were distractions
reading:Donald Antrim, The Verificationist. i like novels where not a lot happens in real time because all the action is inside the narrator's head. this one takes place in a pancake house where all these psychoanalysts are meeting to talk shop. most of book consists of narrator's psychoanalytic flights of fancy & bouts of paralysis/terror/enlightenment that start out with an issue as mundane as whether or not to get pancakes but billow outward to encompass issues of marriage, love, sex, death, etc. etc. this struck a note:</p>
Have you ever noticed?--people, no matter how beautiful or desirable, invariably will, if observed closely while going about their daily business of keeping alive, begin to seem like monsters.
Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon -- THICK. sort of skimming. WWII & cryptography & whatever else, don't know yet. Stephenson is a bad-ass. Mother Earth Mother Board and In the beginning was the command line are two of my favorite pieces of techwriting ever. I admire writers who are so good & so interested in what they're writing about that they can make non-techies excited about it as well. This is not an easy thing to do.
Eduardo Galeano - Upside Down: A Primer For The Looking Glass World -- tears down myths of neoliberalism & bush-brand globalization-- elegant & angry (& funny)
mcsweeneys 6 -- is this a book? no.
listening to:Cannibal Ox - man it's just like coflow, in the sense that the first 3 or 4 listens I'm thinking "what is this overrated incomprehensible pap" and then it all shifts into focus, i suddenly can make out what they're saying, the production clicks & i really dig it. </p>
If at first you don't succeed, try try again
Step up to the mic and die again
This is the next lifetime, and you wanna battle?
Either you like reincarnation or the smell of carnations
The sample's the flesh and the beat's the skeleton
You got beef but there's worms in your Wellington
I'll put a hole in your skull and extract the gelatin
Must exceed faith, move mountains...
this is an album that rewards repeated listening. it needs headphones, not bumps in your trunk.
horizon:tues- new pornographers
weds- richard devine & sutekh (somewhere in the mission)
fri - khan-zaman & fugazi documentary
june 30th- richie hawtin. SPASTIK</p>